From http://www.englishforums.com/content/humour/paraprosdokians.htm. Paraproskodians are a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.
Here are some of my favorites:
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
- War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
- The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
- A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
- If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?